My heart-felt desire is to assist you in feeling good about yourself and your life. It is the reason I share my personal story with you.
Kathleen's Journey to Health
Most of my life has felt like a struggle. My first traumatic experience was age three. My mother was the type who was strict and did not demonstrate affection naturally. What I remember is we were in the kitchen and I wanted her to pick me up. She refused and I had a tantrum.
She responded with a spanking and told me to "stop crying or she would give me something to cry about", a very common mantra in those days. I ran and hid in a closet, stomped my feet and hit my fists against the wall. Then I decided to run away.
As I started walking down our country road an eighteen wheeler sped by and almost knocked me down. This scared me and in that instant my spirit was broken. I recognized I wasn't big enough to take care of myself and I needed my mother to survive. I slithered back into the house, deciding I would be a "good little girl" who didn't show her anger and who would stuff down her feelings. I learned to do what mommy wanted in hopes of getting the attention and affection I so deeply wanted.
I did what I was told and didn't say "no". I tried to be perfect and please my mother so she wouldn't get angry and reject me, which seemed to work most of the time. These beliefs and habits were deeply ingrained and controlled my behavior the rest of my life. Not being able to say "no", and stand up for myself and having fear of other people's angry was very dis-empowering and caused me all sort of abuse.
As I mentioned my mother's love was very conditional. On the other hand my father was my source of affection, love and security. Then, at nine years old, all those warm and safe feelings were gone forever when my father sexually abused me. I was left feeling traumatized, frightened and totally unsafe.
Immediately I had to start wearing glasses and had hearing difficulties. Reading and comprehensive were challenging and I struggled to make "C's" in school. It was like my whole brain got scrambled. I was experiencing the full blown effects of trauma.
Then at age 16 I began a binge eating disorder to numb my feelings of inferiority and anxiety. This was also the time when I began reading self-help books to try and find out what was wrong with me. This was the beginning of my personal development path however I didn't feel any better.
I took the EST Training in my late 20's where I learned we create beliefs and strategies to try and get the love we so deeply want as youngsters. And then we continue using these strategies as adults even though they usually don't work well.
In my 30's I went to a therapist but I didn't feel much relief. Then I took a class called "Lighten-Up" which changed my life. I learned how to feel my feelings, particularly my anger which I had suppressed since I was three years old. Feeling safe to feel my anger took away my anxiety and my 22 year binge eating disorder which had caused me so much suffering and shame. I was so happy to have this problem gone that I decided to commit my life to learning and growing to completely feel good about myself and my life.
I attended classes in self-esteem and spiritual development. I took all of Landmark Education's Curriculum plus the year-long "Wisdom Course" in which I identified dozens of my deepest limiting beliefs. In the process I cleared many but not all.
In my late 40's I enrolled in CoachU. My quest to feel good about myself and to have success led me to learn EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), The Yuen Method, Matrix Energetics, Advanced Wavemaker Coaching, the Twelve Core Dynamics of Common Problems and Pure Awareness Techniques.
The process was long and frustrating, but with each class experience and modality that I learned I made baby steps toward wholeness and inner peace.
Then something happened that was devastating. I received a 30 days notice that I had to move out of my home after spending an enormous amount of time, energy and money renovating a space for my coaching practice. I also felt that the owner had taken advantage of me. When I look back I realize that I had a habit of over giving with the belief that I would be taken care of if I was a really good little girl. This was certainly a childhood belief that was causing me a lot of problems as an adult.
Within weeks my thighs were surprisingly painful. My whole body ached and I could barely walk. It was like a needle had fallen on the haystack of me allowing others to take advantage of me and my body was saying "no more!"
The diagnosis of polymyalgia rheumatica that I was given was extremely challenging. For the next two years I was homeless, living as a house sitter, and living with family and friends - constantly moving. Even though it was tough, the Universe supported me and I was grateful.
I continued my personal development classes, worked part-time in health care to pay basic expenses, went through bankruptcy and worked with many alternative health practitioners to try and get well again. Then my mother passed away and I used my small inheritance to move from Santa Barbara to Austin. In the next 3 years I spent over $30,000 working with a variety of health practitioners, alternative healers and doctors. I did not get better but I was grateful that they were able to keep me alive.
Then I took some ThetaHealing classes which finally made a huge difference. I cleared an enormous amount of limiting beliefs and emotions that changed my life for the better dramatically. At the end of 15 months of weekly ThetaHealing sessions with a fellow student, I was off the Prednizone I had needed for 5 years.
Suddenly my life improved. I felt pretty good about myself. I felt blessed with inner peace and good health and I began to thrive for the first time in my life.
My challenges from the past are now my assets in helping others. Overcoming my challenges, combined with all I have learned -- I now have a unique ability to help others. Plus I have a deep sense of understanding, compassion and empathy for my clients as I do for myself.
Looking back I laugh and think to myself: "God must have a fantastic sense of humor. I've had all these struggles because God wanted me to have a good story to share."
I am deeply grateful for all the modalities and information that I have learned and mastered over my life time. I am honored and blessed to work with my clients and help them transform their lives as I did mine.
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